help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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