I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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