Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
