I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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