did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
