I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
