I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
false alarm, still single
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize