Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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