just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
