Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize