im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he fucked my hip out of place.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
