Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
