It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
