Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
and you fell through a lawn chair
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
