At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
