I think I am morally bankrupt
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
