I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This is my gift to your gina
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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