My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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