I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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