Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
