I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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