Say something about gay babies.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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