i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
