areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Dick very happy bro
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
