I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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