i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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