look no pants
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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