Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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