Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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