I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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