This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
