watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
