I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
