Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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