I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
