Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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