New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
