hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
