I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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