Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
