More tranny stories later!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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