Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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