found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
