Only a mothe r could love this liver
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
