she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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