I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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