Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
