omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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