My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
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