Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
