saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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