Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
