Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
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I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
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Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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