Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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