I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
