I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
