Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
bring money and cleavage
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
