If that was your dad, he is hot
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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