Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
