OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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