my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
