I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I deserve this hangover.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
