He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
