Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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