i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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