thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
