He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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