He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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