I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
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