Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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