just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize