i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Terrible idea I love it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize