It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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